Light in the Darkness
by vampirewithwolfeyes
Summary: Jolais is the first daughter of the Potters - not that anyone would know that. Following the events of that fateful Halloween (and the meddling of Dumbledore) the potter parents survived and as such have spoiled their baby boy - leaving Jolais to the dark. Wrong-Boy-who-lived, Weasley/Dumbledore bashing OC/OC, HG/DM HP/Harem (of sorts), Rated M to be safe (abuse/sex/swearing)
1. Prologue

Prologue

It was a night that no-one would forget. It would become a story, a legend of sorts. It was just a shame that the real story got lost in the translation. Not all but enough got changed, which was understandable. The only survivors were infants and unable to tell the story in a way that their parents would understand.

James and Lily Potter had only the evidence that lay before them; the dead babysitter, and their baby twins. One asleep with a horrid gash running down her cheek, very nearly making her blind in her left eye; the other awake and bawling his eyes out, a very small bruise – that would be thought of as the 'pretty bruise' in the coming months – over his right temple.

To the Potter parents it was clear. Their boy had saved his sleeping sister when their faithful and loyal babysitter had been killed by the Dark Lord. There was no way for them to know how he did it, after all he was a baby when this happened.

The truth of what happened had died with the baby sitter and since Necromancy was a Dark Art it would stay hidden.

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	2. Chapter 1

Chapter one 

_Ten years later Potter Castle _

"Do not embarrass me!" The little lord's voice was high and arrogant, ringing around the cold walls of the kitchen.

The staff were clustered around the ovens, trying everything to keep warm and out of the little lord's undignified anger. They'd already had this talk from their master, the Lord Potter, and his normally easy tone had promised violence if anything went wrong on his boy's special day. I was used to the way his gaze darkened when it happened upon me, hiding in the shadows, but this day was different. This was Harry's birthday, his perfect child and I only crossed his mind when my 'perfect' brother had done something wrong, or he was worried I would show the family up.

Little Lord Harry was in a foul mood today, James and Lily had raised him on the stories of their school days at Hogwarts, telling him how excited they were to go back every September. Harry had woken up extremely early for him – nine o'clock – and wanted his letter. I already knew he wasn't going this year.

A few days ago I was outside, trying to escape my loving brother and his cronies, and had overheard an interesting conversation between James and the Headmaster Dumbledore. James was arguing, his voice loud and angry and I had cringed – trying to melt against the unforgiving stone walls of the castle – Dumbledore's voice was calm and serene, his blue eyes would have that annoying star-like twinkle. James wanted Harry to go to Hogwarts as normal for wizards but Dumbledore kept refusing, there were rumours of danger and it was safer for him to stay at Potter Castle.

James' voice rose and so did his temper, I knew from experience that there would be veins standing rigid at the side of his face. I was worried for the Headmaster even though in my heart I knew it was only me that James punished that way.

My worries had been unfounded, Dumbledore remained calm and managed to speak through the red mist that claimed the Lord of the Castle. James calmed and made Dumbledore promise that one day his children will go to Hogwarts. Dumbledore promised and told my beast of a father that he would tell us – misunderstanding that James only wanted Harry and any younger children to go – on our birthday after the party and that his present to us would be private tutors.

Back in the kitchens Harry had spotted me. He wouldn't try anything, not today. Not when my blood could get on his fancy new clothes and the party started soon. He wouldn't want to mess up his appearance, he thought that the most important thing.

"Jolais," he hissed. "You will behave or I will have dad punish you."

My face paled and I nodded. James would be in high spirits today, one slip up by anyone – even a stranger, or a parasitic reporter – would enrage him and I would be his punching bag. I tried to get past Harry, so I could hide. James and Lily wouldn't want my ugly face around to ruin their good moods. I left them alone and they left me alone, a miserable existence but it was mine. I had my secret friends, my storytellers, and Harry had his followers.

"Where do you think you're going?" His hand shot out and caught my hair.

The free flowing waves wrapped against his fist and he pulled. It brought tears to my eyes but I promised myself long ago that I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of crying out. I didn't answer, my voice would shake and Harry wouldn't let me go until he was finished with his fun. He was crueler than James, used to getting everything he wanted and throwing a fit if he didn't get it. "

Mum and dad want you there today."

I didn't answer, this was new. Maybe they were going to give me a present or at least acknowledge it was my birthday too. I didn't fight Harry as he pulled me along next to him, he didn't need to yank so hard but he was in a foul mood and had violent tendancies, I was the only thing that could be broken and no one would care.

"You took your time Girl!" Lily's voice was shrill, the way it always was around me. "Where have you been? Look at you! You're filthy! Have you been rolling in flour?"

I couldn't get a word in and knew she would ignore everything I said anyway. I just stood there, staring at my boots, letting her words wash over me. I tried to ignore them but it wasn't easy. Lily had a voice that could cut glass.

"Never mind that Love," James said, rising from his chair like a cobra. I flinched when I saw his shiny shoes. "She's here now and just in time for her present."

I couldn't help it. In the back of my mind I knew it couldn't be anything good, but my head still shot up. I was like the puppy Harry had gotten for his birthday last year, eager for praise despite the beatings it regularly recieved.

"She's so obedient," James muttered under his breath. My heart dropped, that was praise. Praise from the Lord Potter was never good. "She'll make a good wife or mistress for someone, if only that ugly scar could be removed."

I felt sick and very nearly brought up the contents of my stomach, it wasn't much. Just some stale bread the cook gave me, apologizing that it wasn't much while I devoured it like a dying man.

"Since you are behaving so well you will be a staff member at the party. It will be your job to be silent and happy," James' order was hidden behind a light voice, as if he was doing me a favour."What do you say girl?"

"Thank you Lord Potter," I hadn't called my parents mum and dad for years and they hadn't even noticed the switch.

James had his favourite servant hand me a bundle of clothes. He droned on about my duties. I knew them by heart. The human servants in the Castle knew this would happen one day and had been preparing me since that night. They knew about the storytellers and would cover for me when they could, relying on the strange magic of the house elves in times of dire need. Which wasn't often. The Potters only wanted me around for something to hit.

"Girl!" James' voice was harsh and low, the dangerous voice, and I looked around. I realised he had asked me a question.

"Yes Lord Potter?" I answered uncertainly.

"Stupid bitch!" He snarled. "I asked you if you were to give the good wine to the reporters and you say 'yes', why would we waste the _Chateau '93_ on them?"

"I don't know sir," I whispered.

Nothing I could do now would get James to leave me alone. I closed my eyes so I wouldn't see it and he opened them again forcing them apart. His rough fingers making my eyes sting, I blinked and the tears fell just as his hand came round and swatted my thigh with so much force I cried out.

"Do not forget that it is only through the bravery of your brother that you are here today!" Lily screeched.

"Yes Lady Potter. I am sorry," I said and bowed my head.

They left, not without Harry slyly kicking my bad thigh. I fell forward and rubbed my leg. My tears rolled unchecked down my cheeks as I forced myself to stand. Harry wasn't as strong as James but the boy had a lot of weight to throw around, literally and figuratively. I would be lucky if the bruise on my leg was the most of the damage.

I dressed quickly, hating that the servant's dress fit me perfectly and pulling my hair into a tight bun, the way the cook had taught me. Her hands, while rough from hard labour, were soft and gentle whenever she had the chance to comfort me. Lord Potter had made it clear that Harry was to be favoured in this household and punished the staff most harshly if they were found to do anything other than his orders.

The cheers around the castle had nothing to do with me. It was a birthday party and therefore I was not invited, even though it was my birthday too. Not that anyone round here knew that, or even cared. To the outside, all of the reporters and even most of the guests, I was just another member of staff, there to cater to every whim of the _Chosen one,_ the one with the _pretty scar._

I couldn't help but touch my own scar from that night. My brother's scar was small and barely noticeable, mine was ugly and I was very lucky not to have lost my sight in that eye. I knew what had happened that night, James and Lily had drummed it into me from a young age – before they lost interest in me – that it was only through my brother's bravery that I was still alive, but I sometimes had dreams where there were flashes of green and woke up with a pain in my scar.

My leg ached but I couldn't let myself stopped. James was watching me, his eyes a spear in my back, his servant trying to get him drunk so he would relax and enjoy the party. She was so brave, the more James drank the more touchy he got. She caught my eyes and I sent her a grateful look. If it wasn't for the staff and the house-elves ... I shuddered, barely catching myself, I wasn't going to go down that route.

For hours I smiled and acted the part of a perfect servant but when James finally gave in to the wine offered I made my escape. I didn't dare leave the castle grounds, not when there were so many people. It would be all too easy for one of Harry's followers and supporters to see a servant running away and then James would know. The last time I'd been caught doing that I couldn't walk for weeks, it didn't stop my trips to the forest around the castle. I was already looking forward to seeing my forest friends that I didn't watch where I was going.

Suddenly everything was black and I saw stars. Damn that wall was strong stone, the house-elves had been busy. I stepped away and rubbed my head, aware that the long sleeve of the dress was revealing my wrists, and the only presents I had even recieved from James and even Lily.

"Girl?"

"S-sorry. I-it w-was m-my f-fault."

I jumped and backed away, surely this person wouldn't tell James that I was neglecting my duties. I looked up quickly and took in a very tall figure, with pale skin and a frown, a bad face. Then I dropped my eyes, it was bad manners for a servant to look at a guest for too long. _Please, don't tell James!_ I mentally chanted over and over.

"Don't tell who what?" The voice was kind and confused. "Look at me girl."

I shook my head and my eyes were wide, magnifying a grain of dust on the floor. I had done it again, James was really going to punish me hard._ I'm sorry! I'm sorry!_

"Child, look at me."

His voice was so kind but if it word got to James about this. No, I would remember my manners and do what James and Lily forced me to do, become what they forced me to be.

The man knelt down to my level and I tensed. His knees were getting all dusty and he didn't seem to care. His hand was under my chin. I jerked back but the man didn't move, he didn't say anything. The hand felt...gentle and that was what made me hesitantly look up – that and the gentle, comforting pressure. A suggestion more of an order.

"Do you know what you just did?" His voice was so soft, so kind, something I hadn't been used to but there was something else in the tone, excitement. It scared me more than if there had been violence in his tone. He must have seen the fear in my eyes because he dropped his hand and looked into my eyes. His were so soft, mine must have been scared, "You did magic. It's nothing to be scared of. Didn't your parents teach you? About Hogwarts or any of the other schools?"

"No sir, they wanted my brother to learn not me." Then I realised how that sounded. "Sorry, I didn't mean to talk bad about our most _gracious hosts._"

"Are you... no, you can't be. The Potters only have one child," the man said after a while, what I had said finally sinking in. "Tell me the truth girl! Who are your parents?"

"I do not lie. My parents are the Potters, they just don't talk about me. I'm not the _Chosen One_ am I?"

"But you have talent. You should be taught," The man said gently. "If you want to learn please follow me."

I opened my mouth.

"I won't take you off the grounds, but the choice is yours," he said interrupting my thoughts and smoothly talking over me in a way to soothe, not the way James would use it to talk down to me.

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	3. Chapter 2

_Chapter two_

I knew the man wouldn't wait forever. At some point he would get annoyed at me and he might be like James after all. I had to make a choice. Each was as dangerous as the other, but my teachers had told me to take each opportunity for learning that comes my way.

"What is your name?" the strange man asked.

"Jolais Potter sir."

He started walking, with a purpose but not the way I'd seen my family strutting around. This man had a quiet confidence about him, it wasn't broadcasted but there was something that you had to respect.

Willingly I followed him. I couldn't keep up but instead of snapping at me the man just slowed his steps without saying anything. The questions were burning at the tip of my tongue but I stayed quiet. My curiosity wasn't worth the punishments, but the man lifted an eyebrow, he seemed to be just as curious as I was.

"You can ask me as many questions as you like, on the condition that I get to ask you one back."

I thought about that and agreed. I always had the option to refuse to answer if it made me uncomfortable, a valuable piece of advice given to me by an expert at making people uncomfortable.

"What is your name sir?"

"Tobias Cain, married to Selene Snape of the house Snape," he glanced at me quickly, studying my reaction, before adding, "I was friends with her brother Severus."

My estimation of Mr Cain just went up a notch. Severus 'Snivellus' Snape had stood up to my father and Mr Cain had picked a Snape over a Potter.

"My turn, you mentioned that this had happened before, could you tell me anything about it?"

I shook my head. James and Lily had expressly forbidden me and everyone else present from talking about it. I'd be punished in the worst way. I shivered thinking about the glittering eyes in that cramped dark space. If Mr Cain noticed he didn't say anything but he dropped the question. Something other than curiosity glittered in those dark eyes, something I recognised and cringed away from. Anger.

"Jolais I'm not angry at you," he said and opened up the heavy wooden doors of Potter Castle.

I relaxed a little. I knew it had to be James he was angry at but hoped he wouldn't tell him, then I would get the blame. I knew why, but sometimes I wished I could be treated the same as Harry.

Everything I had he wanted and he had succeeded. I had nothing and if he knew about my forest friends he would take them too, was it wrong of me to keep their knowledge to myself, knowing that Harry would waste it and everyone else would hate it?

"Jolais?" Mr Cain asked and from his face I could tell he had been asking for a while.

"I'm sorry! Please don't punish me!" I cried and threw myself at his feet, James liked that - or at least he didn't hit me as hard.

"There's nothing to be sorry for," he said gently, I lifted my head up at that. "We all disappear into our minds at some points. I was asking if you wanted to see some magic."

He didn't seem to be annoyed at repeating himself, maybe he just thought I was stupid, like Lily did. She never said that she thought I was out loud, but when giving me my orders each word was sounded out – even the ones an infant knew.

I nodded quickly, in case he changed his mind and at his warm smile I stood up. James and Lily did magic for Harry whenever he wanted, but if I asked I'd be glared at and told _not to waste their time_ or _can't you see we're busy with your brother? Stop wasting our time_.

"Thank you Mr Cain," I said, the words tasting funny on my lips but wholeheartedly meaning them.

"You're very welcome but please call me Tobias."

I shook my head, I didn't want to dissappoint him but my parents had told me it was bad to call someone older than me by their first name out loud. Mr Cain would be gone soon and I would be left with my parents and Harry again.

He tilted his head to one side, thinking, "How about you call me Mr C instead?"

"Okay ... Mr C," I said hesitantly. "C-can I, um, c-could y-you ..." I stuttered, asking questions was a big no unless it was really needed, and even then it was frowned upon.

I fully expected him to shout at me, my stuttering could test even a saint's patience. I bit my lip waiting for him to finally snap.

"Take your time," he said softly, he really did have endless patience.

"Can I see some magic please?" I managed to get out without any stuttering whatsoever.

Mr C smiled so warmly at me I felt like a flower blooming under the warmth of the sun. "That wasn't so bad was it?"

I thought that was a joke but I wasn't sure so I stayed quiet. Mr C looked at me with narrowed eyes and I backed away. He sighed and started walking away, after a while seeing that I wasn't following he smiled at me, "I'm not upset at you. Jolais it's not your fault."

I didn't know what to say, everything was always my fault. I didn't like that feeling of blamenessless when it had always been placed on my shoulders before.

"Do you still want to see some magic?" When I nodded he laughed and told me to 'get over here'.

I broke so many of James and Lily's rules that day. I talked to a guest, I told a guest who I really was, I left the ballroom and ran in the courtyard. I acted like a child, like my age for once, savouring my forbidden fun with the same reverence as I held my forest friends. James and Lily had flown from my mind like a dragon and a huge weight was lifted from my young shoulders.

It was never made crystal clear to me but I always had a distinct impression that the two rules I was about to break were the most important, _Don't do magic_ and _don't make friends._

Mr C stopped at the white fountain. I hated it, it was a very loose take on what happened on _that night,_ and it was made in gold which contrasted horribly with the original fountain which was marble. I knew that Harry wouldn't have had access to a wand and there was no way he would've been able to lift me when he was an infant. _He probably couldn't even lift me now,_ I thought critically. _I'm really skinny but Harry's not exactly overflowing with physical strength._

When that fountain was unveiled I had nearly fainted, I was actually there – even if I was presented a some kind of trophy and nobody knew it was me. The artist had done it as symbolisation or something James had explained in a low growl, his hand squeezing the back of my neck as punishment for asking questions and almost fainting. It was the Potter pride and joy, of course it would be. It was all about Harry.

On my dark days I fantasised about attacking that gaudy monstrosity, but today was a good day. I was going to see some magic and Harry wasn't there to mess it up! It was for me and not him! For the first time in my life I had something of my own that was purely for fun!

I looked up and it was gone! A quick glance around told me that Mr C had gone as well.

He didn't want to teach me or show me magic, he just wanted to see me punished. I couldn't figure out exactly why but guessed it had something to do with Harry. It always had something to do with that ... that brat.

Just as I was about to turn and run to James – to hell with the consequences – I heard a boy's laugh. Harry would still be at his party, basking in the attention, and his followers wouldn't dare leave his side in case he forgot about them – it reminded me of a book I read in the library about some muggle king who attracted courtiers like people collect stamps.

The boy laughed again. It didn't sound familliar but that was no judge, there were always high ranking families and their sons floating around wanting to get in with Harry and more often than not I was the victim of some cruel and unusual pranks that left me bruised and humiliated.

Deciding that that was the boy's plan I stopped running. Better just get it over with. Interestingly enough though there was no one else around to witness this, perhaps it would be a time delayed prank that would kick in after the party.

A figure dropped in front of me, making me jump. Its back was to me so I couldn't see much, just a jet black and expensive looking cloak and shaggy blond hair. As if he could sense me staring the figure turned and I saw that he was young – my age if not little older – and pureblood but without the smug arrogance I had expected. He could be half-blood I supposed, but with looks like that he had to be pure-blood – unlike the Potters. Lily was a muggleborn and James a pure-blood, but a lot of people had their suspiscions about my mother's heritage.

Anyway the boy was looking at me which gave me the perfect opportunity to stare back, there was something I couldn't stop looking at. His light blue eyes were so bright and open, they sparkled with something I knew my life lacked, joy. This stranger had no menace, hatred or even disgust in his gaze.

Some of my storytellers had told me that the truth of a person could be found in their eyes, it was the reason the eyes were known as the window to the soul. They would approve of him, despite his somewhat scruffy appearance, he just didn't have a hateful bone in his body.

He was taller than me and broader at the shoulders but that wasn't much to go by, everyone was bigger than me. If he and my brother were to stand next to each other this stranger would be shorter but thinner, not in a starved kind of way, more of a toned way. This boy excercised and was beginning to see the benefits of it.

"Hi," he said cheerfully.

I barely looked at him. I had bigger problems than upsetting a scruffy pureblood, no matter how confusing this boy was. Harry's glorious statue was missing and without solid concrete, completely irrifutable evidence – actually even with that – James would blame me.

"Whereisit?" I asked, panic taking over. "Gottafindit! Don'twannagothere!"

Even in the midst of my panic I saw the boy get closer. His hand raised as if to touch me but he thought better of it. "Hey, I can bring it back," his voice was soft, reminding me of Mr C. "I thought you wanted to see some magic."

"I-it's a j-joke? A-a t-trick?" Somehow that made sense, made it easier to deal with.

He nodded and with a wave of his wand something seemed to lift and the statue returned, glittering with a vengance. I shivered, it really was like Harry. He would do a lot worse than glitter at me though.

"My name is Cyrus, Cyrus Cain."

"Jolais ... Potter."

"Nice to meet you," his eyes widened for a second at my family name but continued to boast over his trick, "What I did was very hard magic, a dissillusionment charm. Not many people can do it."

His chest puffed out in pride at that and something about his easy manner and the way he was with me gave me the courage to say, "yeah, who taught you then?"

If anything Cyrus just grew prouder, "The greatest wizard I know, my father."

Thankfully no-one was around to hear that bit, round here saying other than Dumbledore or Harry was the greatest wizard was as close to treason as you could go.

"Who?" I couln't help myself, I had to know more about him

"My father, you've met him. His name is Tobias Cain."

"Mr C?" I knew there was a reason I liked him, he seemed as approachable as Cyrus – possibly more so.

"The very same. He saw that you had a lot of power and wanted you to see what you could become if someone tried to teach you."

"Oh." I was stunned, noboy had ever wanted to teach me anything.

I learned to walk, talk and real – all of the important things in life by myself.

"He wants you to be his second apprentice."

My mouth flew open, becoming an apprentice was hard enough but getting a master to take on an other one at the same time was nearly impossible. I desperately wanted to say yes but ... "I have other teachers that would need to be informed and James wouldn't like it."

Cyrus smiled at me, "He wouldn't need to know, as for your teachers, I'm sure he would understand as long as they did. My father isn't the type to limit anyone's knowledge."

It took a few days but I got in touch with each of my storytellers and gained their permission. Each giving me a new family and a new secret to bear. At least their presents – or as they called them _acceptances_ – were pretty.

At the end of that month I finally received my first ever birthday present that was useful, the worst bit was that it added to the secrets I could never tell. There was one more thing Mr C – Master – needed to know.

"Master, I am not completely human."

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	4. Chapter 3

_Present day – Potter Castle_

_The years with my master have been hard but worth it,_ I thought looking at how far I'd ran that day.

At first it was hard, I couldn't even get past the gate without gasping. Now I can run round the castle grounds in about an hour or into the heart of the forest and back and still have time to talk to the centaurs before everyone else woke up. I loved the freedom my early morning runs gave me. It wasn't much, since I was still a Potter and underage, but I made the most of it.

Dumbledore's meddling – as the staff called it – actually had the added benefit of getting my so-called family to leave me alone and the tutors employed by the headmaster misheard him and often forgot about me. Lily and James hadn't bothered correcting them and as long as I stayed out of the way they didn't care. Of course I was still punished for supposed wrongdoings but the house elves helped a lot.

Stretching out my legs to prevent cramp later I had to remember that my last four years hadn't exactly been an oasis of peace. At some point between my eleventh summer and that Christmas it was discovered that the staff favoured me over Harry. They were punished and then left for their own safety. I hadn't blamed them and I still didn't, James had snapped my arm for swaying the staff and then told the tutor I'd fallen down the stairs and refused treatment in a childish temper trantum of false pride. Of course my arm had healed days after, but I hadn't told him that and had acted like it was still broken until I was left alone again.

The human staff hadn't been replaced and they wouldn't be. Not when I was to go to Hogwarts, my exsistence wouldn't be denied anymore so James had to be more careful with his punishments and it would be all to easy for a servant to talk to the press and tell the truth. The house-elves had been ordered not to and couldn't disobey their master, but he hadn't ordered them to ignore me.

Thanks to my apprenticeship I was at a level above most of what the Hogwarts students would be – with the exception of Cyrus and anyone else in an apprenticeship – and had filled out a little. I was still thin but at least now I couldn't see my own ribs anymore. I'd gotten comments and looks from the more human creatures I hung round with but I wasn't interested.

Sometime during my adolescence both Harry and James had noticed my journey into womanhood for different reasons entirely. Harry saw my feminity – or lack of – as a new way to tease me but James saw it as a way to cement his relationship with the Weasleys or failing them any family in the light, suggested by Dumbledore.

If her son – any of them – liked me then I would be promised as their bride and forced to marry as soon as I turned sixteen. Molly had only let her youngest, Ron, 'view' me as he was closest to Harry and I in age. He hadn't liked how I had small breasts and then Molly herself had said no, she had been hoping to change her son's mind. For the first time in my life I was actually glad for my scar and for James' refusual to 'waste money' on me to get it removed.

The Weasleys had been James' first choice but they weren't his only ones. All from light families but their sons' eyes had been heavy, undressing over my body but then disgusted as they glimpsed my scar. James had been in a foul mood. The worst I'd ever seen him at each no. I still remembered how badly those bruises and accusations stung.

For a fleeting moment I had considered Cyrus but James would never allow it and Master had made it clear that both the Cain and Snape families did not take part in those contracts unless it was necessary.

During my run Cyrus' latest present to me had slipped out from under my lightweight t-shirt. Frowning at the memory of Selene telling me no as I fingered the beautiful necklace, Cyrus' fingers had definitely lingered on my neck as he did up the clasp on the Christmas present I never took off. He'd allowed and accepted the hug I'd given him, not saying anything at the tears forming in my eyes and had just held me that little bit harder for that little bit longer. I hadn't known what to make of it but I did know that our feelings about each other were changing.

Glancing into the forest and then at the sun rising over the tops of the trees I decided to miss my lesson with the centaurs that day. I would need to speak to my parents and it would be best if I made more of an effort to look like them – the traditional robes were too heavy and cumbersome for me, the muggles had so much freedom with clothes.

Master wouldn't like it but I ran – and I mean full out ran – back to the castle. I had to get my letter before any of my family destroyed it, I wouldn't put it past them. I would get my own share of attention when, if I got to Hogwarts and it could take the attention of Harry. I needed to ask about my supplies and the best time would be breakfast, James would be in a more tolerant mood.

As with most rooms in the castle I had my own bathroom but I had the distinct feeling that my bedroom used to be storage, it was smaller than every guest room and was hidden out of the way in the attic.

The water was cold – freezing as usual – but I didn't mind that, it helped to cool my body and my thoughts. My traitorous mind kept returning to the apprenticeship and the night Cyrus and I spent in the woods.

Wrapping my body in a towel I walked back into my room. The arrival of the house-elves was sudden but not unexpected. Each of the three small creatures were well fed and healthy, even if they were barely knee height. Their bat like ears were overlarge for their wrinkling heads but perfectly proportioned to the large tennis ball eyes trained on the window. The only source of light in the room.

Ignoring my guests I found some decent clothes and my formal robes. I had wanted to wear my jeans but the house-elves hadn't been able to find any – I suspected James was culling my wardrobe again – so I slipped on the soft skirt and cream shirt instead, playing the part of a dutiful pure-blood daughter. I hated it, but there was nothing I could do about it.

"Jo-lee, Jo-lee," a chorus of three squeaked, in private the Potter elves and I spoke the elf language – which sounded like a series of hyper-active squeaks. "Yours letter is here."

Abandonding the struggle I was bound to have with my dark scarlet hair in favour of the approaching barn owl was an easy choice and I too joined the child-like house-elves that had taken me in as their own.

As the tawny coloured owl got closer I felt a gentle pressure on the back of my head. Looking down I saw that one of my elfin companions was missing and judging by the tuts I could hear behind me Mipsy had delegated and decided that she would take on my mass of hair by herself.

The usually eaasy task for her was made more difficult by the fact that I was bouncing up and down on my heels, resulting in a French braid that was slightly off-center and an irritatated bunch of house-elves – the owl couldn't immediately get through the wards around the castle which made me more impatient.

For a heart-wrenching moment it seemed as if the owl wasn't going to make it through. If James and Lily thought there was a chance of me getting letters they would have spelled the wards quicker than I could blink. Harry and I going to Hogwarts meant that people would talk about me in their letters, meaning that Cyrus could send me letters like normal people instead of using the send box Master had given me.

The owl landed on my windowsill just as the send box hidden under rags dinged to let me know I had something from Master or Cyrus. If it was from Master then it would most likely be a book, interesting and useful but not much fun. Cyrus would send me everything and anything he thought I'd like. Last week he sent me a contraption that was definitely muggle. It looked like fun but I couldn't get the thing to work, I thought it was broken until Cyrus had taken me to the muggle world. I looked forward to his gifts more than anything.

Bother would wait but the owl looked a lot more impatient and ruffled its feathers as I hovered between it and the box. I made my decision as the owl opened its beak to squawk. Looking very annoyed the animal flew away, its letter crumpled tightly in my eager grip.

A terrible thought gripped me as I started for the formal dining room. _What if this isn't my acceptance letter? What if James had changed his mind about me going?_ I couldn't bear it if that happened, I couldn't take being stuck here with James.

A sharp stinging pain invaded my cheek, and my vision and thoughts cleared. Mipsy was standing on the abandoned desk with her hands on her hips, her wide eyes were worried but the rest of her face was stern.

"Yous will be calm Jo-lee," she squeaked and the back of my left hand tingled as she used her magic on me. "Now, this is yours day. Master can't stop yous from going."

I supposed that was true, Dumbledore would begin to suspect that something was wrong if I didn't show up and James wouldn't want anything to upset his mentor – including anything I said or did, or even didn't say or didn't do.

It was still excitement and nerves that gripped me as I made my way down to the incredibly too formal dining room, the letter clasped tightly in my hand. I was surprised the ink hadn't run.

"Girl, why are you just standing ther?" Lily screeched. "Wish you brother a happy birthday!"

"I bet she hasn't even gotten me a present!" Harry was hiden behind a mountain of wrapped presents.

I was lucky if my parents even gave me a half-decent present, on my eleventh birthday I had gotten an old coat hanger. This year I wasn't sure I would get anything, Harry's letter for Hogwarts was going to overshadow our day, well my birthday.

"Happy birthday," I said, trying to force some lightness into my voice.

"That'll have to do. Why are you just standing there?"

"My Hogwarts lerrer came ma'am," I looked at my feet so I wouldn't see Lily's furious face. "I was wondering if I could go with you to get my supplies."

"What do you mean? You can't have! Harry hasn't got his letter yet," James was furious at me for taking the spotlight away from his spoiled boy.

"She's older than Harry, so she would get her letter first," Lily said in a soft voice, I looked up to see her soothing James but then she turned to me, her voice and posture changed, "It just goes to show you that first isn't always best."

"No! She can't come, she always ruins everything!" Harry whined suddenly, sounding more like a two year old than a fourteen year old. "Daddy please! I don't want her to come!"

Story of my life. As soon as Harry said _Daddy, Mummy _or any variation of that I was pushed even more to the side, if I said anything like that I would be told to grow up.

He also said "I don't want" and if anyone tried to make him do the opposite then he would throw a fit, his tantrums were getting more and more often and increasingly violent. I should know. I'm usually his punch bag and again if I tried half of what Harry got away with then I'd be dead.

"Oh, don't worry. Jolais will be spending her special day in her ... special room," James said smiling at me.

That smile and those words filled me with dread. When I was younger, and still hopeful that my parents would still be my parents, I had started doing more and more daring stunts in order to steal some attention from Harry. When I started walking my stunts grew more and more naughty. One day James had gotten tired of me and locked me in a small cupboard. At first it was fun, I could be a princess waiting to be rescued or a brave knight fighting monsters. At first, I enjoyed my trips to the cupboard so much that I acted up on purpose, but one ay there was a real monster in there. A boggart was sharing the space with me, I screamed and screamed but still no-one came to rescue me. I'd been trapped in with the boggart for a whole day and when I'd finally been allowed out I was a gibbering wreck. Since then I'd been claustrophobic and been really trying to avoid the cupboard lately.

"What do you say Jolais?" James was asking me. "Do you want to go in your special room?"

I seriously considered running away from him and hiding in the forest until they left but then again, James would only be in a worse mood when he came back. I'd only be delaying the inevitable and possibly make my punishment worse. The only secure thing was my Hogwarts supplies, even if I wasn't treated like one I was still a Potter and would be expected to dress like one. I'd be given the best to keep up the Potter name and their exacting standards but pretty much left alone.

James grabbed my shoulder and roughly dragged me out of the room. I tried to fight him off but he just gripped my shoulder tighter. All of Master's work on building up my confidence was wasted whenever James was in the room. Harry was a bully but James was a tyrant and cruel, Harry was only copying what he learned from James.

My palms got sweaty and my heart pounded in my chest the closer we got. I dug my feet in to try and delay that. I opened my mouth and to my horror all that came out was panicked, squeaking pleading, "Please no. Please, I'll be good. Just please don't put me in there."

James grew angry at my weak protests and after mocking my fear of cramped spaces threw me in and locked the door from the outside. Barely heard over my hyperventilating he shouted, "And if I hear anything out of you I'll lock you in there until Christmas."

I wasn't sure if he meant it, I wouldn't put it past him he'd done it before, so I stayed quiet and tried to calm my panicked breathing.

_One, two. In, out. Three, four. In, out... _the walls were getting closer, all the oxygen was getting used up. I was going to be crushed to death or suffocated. _Why aren't the house-elves coming? They always come. Harry's party!_

I tried to take a deep breath in and calm down, to slow my frantic heart. As had become tradition the Potters threw increasingly lavish and expensive parties every year on our birthday – well, Harry's birthday – Christmas and New Year. The biggest and most lavish celebration being Halloween or 'the night of victory' as James had dubbed it.

I didn't realise at the time but the star on the necklace Cyrus gave me was heating up, not uncomfortably so but heating up like a heat pad for a pulled muscle. It grew steadily hotter and it cut through my panic like one of Centaur Denauro's arrows.

Shaking I unhooked the necklace and with no small amount of alarm saw that the silver star pendant was glowing magically enhanced blue colour.

"Oh Cyrus," I breathed in relief.

The walls were still closing in on me, my breathing still too shallow for my lungs to be satisfied but my best and only human friend had provided me with an answer, an escape route. I just needed the password to activate it, what was it?

I tried to think back to our last conversation and the last notes he had sent. A small smile graced my face despite my predicament, of course it would be _that._

"I shed like a dog," I whispered into the star.

Before I felt the familiar but peculiar sensation of being hooked from behind my belly button and pulled could take me to where I needed to go the lack of oxygen finally got to me and I passed out.

When I came to I had a stinking headache, I must have banged my head when I passed out, and was definitely not in my room anymore. This bed was soft and warm, the room smelled clean not damp and musty like my room in the Potter Castle. I opened my eyes and knew exactly where I was.

"See, I told you I'd keep you safe."

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